As Australia battles the wet and wild whims of La Nina, a drought in the US has created surging demand for so-called ‘water witches’ – and practitioners of these mystical arts are cashing in.

Californian farmers are reportedly enlisting the services of witchcraft practitioners – sometimes called ‘dowsers’ – to seek out new sources of water amid the state’s sweeping droughts.

One such witch told CBS News he has “never been this busy” as demand for his services surges, adding that his clients are so far satisfied with his abilities – even if he can’t fully explain them himself.

“My theory is that we’re like a radio and we’re tuning into the electromagnetic fields of the earth,” he said.

While the scientific evidence suggests that dowsing does not work, it is perhaps unsurprising that farmers still use the practice given even British water companies have admitted to using the practice in the past five years.

In fact, witchcraft itself has grown into a multi-billion-dollar industry in the 21st century.

Even Jack Dorsey, the often controversial co-founder and former CEO of Twitter, has seemingly sought out magical assistance inside the past decade, having reportedly sent clippings of his own hair to rapper and self-proclaimed witch Azealia Banks in hopes she would craft him an amulet to protect against terrorist attacks. Fir his part, Mr Dorsey has denied the claims.

No, really. You can read about the whole alleged affair here.

History suggests witchcraft has always been a lucrative market, going back 800 years to the days when sailors would buy ‘wind knots’ – knotted pieces of rope that were believed to summon a sturdy breeze each time its coils were loosed – from magical merchants.

Many made their keep as medical practitioners through the Middle Ages, too, despite bans on their craft.

In the modern age, witchcraft has become immensely profitable, with the market for psychics and clairvoyants worth an estimated $3.2 billion in the US alone. Meanwhile, online sales platform Etsy has more than 540,000 products tagged with ‘witch’.

Trying to corporatise these magical arts may prove difficult, however. Beauty company Sephora launched a ‘witch starter kit’ back in 2018 but was forced to pull the product after a backlash from the magical community.

So, don’t hold your breath for a magical ETF.

Sources

• Australian Bureau of Meteorology, Climate Driver Update
• CBS News, Water witches, or dousers, are finding new clients in a drier California
• The Guardian, Water divining is bunk. So why do myths continue to trump science?
• The Conversation, How witchcraft became a multi-billion dollar industry
• The Conversation, Jack Dorsey’s decision to quit Twitter is not a vote of confidence in future of social media
• Etsy, Witch Search
• Paper, Twitters CEO Asked Azealia Banks to Weave His Beard Hair Into an Amulet
• Spin, Jack Dorsey Denies Mailing Beard Shavings To Azealia Banks